No One Notices
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Since It sunk it's teeth into Stanley, he hasn't been the same. Stanlon undertones. Severe trigger warnings for suicide and murder. Based on a fic called 'show me your teeth' by Child-OTKW


Severe trigger warnings for suicide. Read at your own risk.

* * *

Stanley's scars healed. Sometimes when he looked in the mirror he would run his finger tips along them and press down just to see a red ring form for just a second so they were visible. Sometimes he just wanted to see them. Other times he wanted a reminder of what changed him.

All the other losers started to ignore what happened that summer. They pretended it never happened. Decided it wasn't important. Every time Stanley wanted to talk about it, he got shut down. Told to keep it a distant memory, but the truth is he hasn't been the same. Everyone has noticed, Stanley knows they have. He just thinks none of them care or are ready to talk to him about it.

His skin has gotten cold to touch. The losers stopped hugging him goodbye, stopped curling up next to him at sleepovers and even stopped the little things like hi-fives. Stanley guessed they thought he wouldn't realise, but he did and it hurt him. The only human contact he had was with his parents. When he went home after spending afternoons in the clubhouse, he would scream. Scream into his pillow until tears fell from his cheeks. He'd curl up and wrap his arms around himself. His cries would become stifled and he would drift off into what he wished could be a dream. All he had were nightmares. He would be back in the sewers and each time that damn clown would do something or show him something that made him writhe in pain and wish he were dead. Even though they were nightmares, he could still feel every single ounce of pain that he endured during them.

One day he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle the way the losers all pushed him away when he needed them most. He couldn't handle the constant pain he live in. Not anymore. He wrote two letters. One to Mike that read;

_Thanks for being my friend. You're the best. I love you and I hope you don't miss me too much._

_Stanley_

And one to his parents that read;

_You guys always supported me and were there for me when I felt lonely. I can't take the constant nightmares anymore. I can't take the fact that everyone is pushing me away because I'm cold to touch. I won't ever get over what happened to me that summer. This is the only option because I know if I tell you what happened you won't believe me and send me to the nuthouse. I love you both._

_Stanley_

He put it in Mikes mailbox knowing he always checks it when he gets home. He left the one for his parents on the table downstairs. He put it there because his parents were in the living room and he knew they wouldn't see it until he was gone. Stanley sat on his bed holding the bottle of pills. His hands shook as he unscrewed the lid.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly through tears, "I can't deal with this anymore."

Before he took them he heard his front door slam open. He stared at the bottle. Yelling downstairs became like a distant ringing.

"Mike what are you doing here?" His mom asked softly.  
"Where's Stanley!?" He yelled.  
"Upstairs, why?"

Mike darted for the stairs. Stanley heard his footsteps coming closer. Soon he heard his door handle rattling.

"Hey! Open up!" Mike called.  
"What's happening?" he heard his mom asked Mike. She had ran up the stairs following him.  
"I'm sorry about the door Mrs Uris."  
"What?"

Mike kicked the door breaking the lock. The door swung open.

"Mike..." Stanley said in a small broken voice,

Mike ran in and slapped the bottle onto the floor.

"What was that for!" Stanley yelled, "why would you do that?"  
"Stan," he said softly, "come here."

Mike pulled Stanley up so he was standing. He wrapped his arms around him. Stanley softly gripped his back. He buried his face into Mikes shoulders and began to cry.

"You're cold Stan."  
"I'm always cold!" he pushed Mike away, "since It hurt me I haven't been the same! I've been cold, I can't eat right, I can't even sleep peacefully. Every time I try to talk about it I get shut down! Told that I need to get over what happened! But the truth is...I can't."  
"Stanley," his mother said from the door, "what are you talking about?"  
"We got attacked last summer mom," tears fell down his cheeks, "by the thing that took all the kids. Georgie, Betty Ripson. That's what my scars on my face are from. I didn't want to tell you because you'd send me to the nuthouse. You wouldn't believe me."

No one in the room spoke until Stanley started yelling again.

"Every night I have nightmares, but they're not normal! I physically feel the pain of the things that happen to me when I wake up. I made you believe I was yelling from sleep paralysis, but it's a lot worse than that and I can't take it anymore! All my friends stopped touching me...you know that? They won't even hi-five me anymore because my skin is so cold it's unbearable and they can't stand it," his voice began cracking, "I just want everything to be over!"

He began sobbing and shaking profusely. Mike pulled him into another embrace.

"It's ok," he whispered softly only so Stan could hear, "it's ok."

A month had passed since his attempt. Soon all the losers knew what he had tried. No one talked about it in fear it would make him upset. Stanley's nightmares got worse. He was no longer being hurt by It, but he was the one hurting others. He'd wake up not feeling any pain, but he'd sob. He'd still scream which would cause his parents to run in and hold him tight until he stopped. The most common one was he was chasing Richie through the sewers. He would slowly gain speed on him and Richie would fall into the grey water. He'd turn around and beg Stanley not to hurt him, but he didn't call him Stan, Stanley, Staniel or Stan the man. He'd call him pennywise which he didn't understand. When he'd speak to Richie it wasn't his voice he heard. He'd lunge forwards at his friend and then wake up.

Stanley rested his head in Mikes shoulder. Their legs were intertwined. Mike had started ignoring him being cold and giving him as much affection as he wanted. Mike slowly drifted off into a soft slumber. Stanley began to focus on a vein protruding on the mans neck. The more he focused the more he could hear it. He could hear the blood coursing through his body. His mouth began to water. He wanted to know what it tasted like...why It had liked the taste so much. He closed his eyes and told himself he was going crazy and he needed to sleep.

Eating became the biggest problem for Stanley. No matter what or how much he ate he always felt hungry. A terrible feeling he hated. Whenever he was with people he'd eat normally and act as normally has he could. It was hard because all he could hear was the sound of their blood coursing through their veins. When he tried to tell Mike about it, Mike said he needed to see a doctor which Stanley didn't want to do. He didn't want his parents to worry...more than they already did.

Overtime he lost all feeling. No emotions, no pain. Only hunger. He tried his best to laugh at Richies jokes or appear angry and hoped the losers didn't notice that he was changing again and not for the better.

He was riding his bike home after school when he heard Belch Huggins begin yelling at him.

"Faggot!" he spat.  
"Leave me alone," he replied quietly.

Stanley rode away and thought he'd lost him. When he turned a corner Belch was there in his brand new car.

"You still wearing those frisbees, flamer?"  
"Yep."  
"No snarky comeback? Oh boy what's wrong," he teased.  
"Leave me alone."  
"Or what? What are you gonna do bird boy?"

Stanley got off his bike. His hands began to shake. He closed his eyes and heard a voice he recognised from his nightmares.

Do it. I know you want to taste. No one is around.

He opened his eyes and all he saw was red. He turned around to face Belch.

"What the fuck is wrong with your eyes?" he asked.

Stanley didn't answer. He lunged towards the bully and sank his teeth into his throat. He couldn't stop himself. Next thing he knew he was covered in blood with a mangled corpse at his feet.

It changed him and no one seemed to care.


End file.
